Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The end is near...

You know you are near the end of your pregnancy when in one given hour you go from the extremes of laughing to crying, wanting to run to desperately needing a nap, feeling energized to utter exhaustion, feeling excited to completely overwhelmed. That just about sums me up today.

Had an appointment with my OB/GYN this morning. Everything went well...I am 1-2cm dilated, 50%effaced, I am measuring right where I need to be, and based on ultrasound last week, baby "B" is looking great and in the 75th% for her size. Not to mention, I only have 12-13 more days to I should be riding high on cloud 9? But right after my doctor let the room today, I started to cry...for no particular reason either. This surprised me as much as it surprised Darcy. Everything we talked about with my doctor was favorable...I didn't hear anything that disturbed, surprised or concerned me. She was quite impressed with my overall health and progress at 37 plus weeks.

We have a scheduled C-section for August 25th. If I go into labor prior (which I am assuming I probably will not), we may try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I've received conflicting medical opinions from doctors within my practice. The major concern being that I can't (shouldn't) deliver a baby as large as Brayden was (8lbs.13oz. and 10 days early) because of the complications I had giving birth to him (severe shoulder dystocia, 4th degree episiotomy, retained placenta, etc.) Severe shoulder dystocia only occurs in about 1-2% of labor/deliveries, but can be really dangerous, causing major complications and/or even a palsy in the baby, etc. When Brayden was born, his APGAR score was only a 2! I was told that I could never vaginally deliver a baby that large again. That's why Brooke was an advised and planned C-section. However, she turned out to be a pound smaller (7lbs.14oz. and 10 days early) giving me hope that perhaps I wouldn't need a C-section for baby #3.

I've done a ton of research and there really isn't too much out there that talks about the recurrence of shoulder dystocia. However, they do say your greatest risk factor is a previous shoulder dystocia and there is also a well-known saying "Once a shoulder dystocia, always a C-section." One of the doctors at the office I go to said that a VBAC for me would be like "driving a car without a seat belt" and he advised that I do not do this....while my primary doctor says I am a perfect candidate for a VBAC and she feels more optimistic about it all.

I often wonder if the complications I experienced with Brayden were a direct result of the interventions I received once my labor began and I was admitted to the hospital. Anyways, this has been weighing on my mind quite a bit over the past couple of months (as due date grows closer). I do envy women who have had easy, natural, and quick labor and deliveries. Who wouldn't want and love that? When on that side of the coin, it's easy to say "go for the can do it!" But, when you have experienced a complication, there is definitely an added level of fear and anxiety that enters the picture and you don't feel as comfortable taking possible risks, etc. I have taken really good care of myself this pregnancy and really have just been praying for God's peace with whatever decision we will have to make regarding labor/delivery. I just want her to be safe and healthy.

This entire pregnancy has been really good and has flown by so quickly. In general, I have really enjoyed being pregnant (moreso than any other pregnancy) and this has been a special time in life. I have been comfortable and able to keep up with my normal activity level (for the most part)....still exercising 3-5 times a week and feeling pretty strong and energetic. But as each day goes by, I am becoming more and more of a roller coaster of emotions. I have gained 5-6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. I know it is fluid I am retaining, but it is depressing and not comfortable. None of my clothes are fitting anymore. I am up at least 4 times a night going to the bathroom. Lat night I think I saw nearly every hour on the clock...including Brayden waking me up at 2am because he had a bad dream, and then Brooke to go potty. I feel like the scale creeps up every day regardless of my level of activity or what I eat. I am starting to swell and don't feel like face doesn't even look right.

This baby keeps pressing on my sciatic nerve causing excruciating pain when it occurs. (and I am not exaggerating...even my pregnancy book describes it as "excruciating" pain) It literally brings me to my knees and produces a loud "yelp" when it happens. This has been embarrassing in public. It never happened with my previous pregnancies. And most recently, I am occasionally feeling numbness in my left arm...from shoulder to fingertips (usually at night when I sit down to relax). My doctor says this is a result of retaining fluid and I should not be concerned. Again, I know I shouldn't complain as I am only days away from baby's arrival.

So, today when I got home and noticed a new message on our home phone, my heart sunk and I cringed (fearing it was the realtor wanting to show the house again). I flipped through the caller ID and sure enough, it was the realtor's office calling. I listened to the voicemail and just cried because today I don't have an ounce of energy to clean this house. The showing isn't until tomorrow (thankfully). A short time later, Darcy calls and just the sound of his voice brings me to tears again. I tell him nothing is "wrong," and explain all of the above. He proceeds to come home (bless his heart). He has taken the kids to the pool, and this tired mama is going to go take a nap.

Counting down the days,


  1. You are breakin my heart!! I just wanna come and take you for a girls night out and let you relax!!!

  2. oh i so feel you.

    and for the first time ever I have had weird sciatica pain as well...and it is sooo embarassing...especially at work. But it has happened to me just as you takes me to my knees and the yelp escapes before I can even think about it!

    i know you are beginning to feel so done...i am too. Soak in these last few moments with your little uncomfortable as they may be. I told Aron last night this is my goal, despite my discomfort, because this is the closest I will ever be to this child - his life completely immersed within my own, wholey dependent on me, me knowing his every move since his creation. Granted, there is so much to learn and know as he grows, but we will never be connected in this way ever again.
    praying for you in these last few days...

  3. sure enough -- less than 2 weeks little B******* will be here. I'm very excited to meet her!! Note to everyone else -- don't try to figure out the name by the number of *s because they are not right.