Monday, November 28, 2011

the "write" to feel...

Ahhhh (or should I say "Ughhh"?)
Monday. Back to the grind.
It was a fairly typical Monday morning, perhaps we were moving a bit slower than normal...but the routine came back easily enough. The kids have been home with me for 5 days, so I wasn't surprised when Brooke got emotional this morning and didn't want to leave, saying she was going to miss me at school. For the most part, she is not my "sensitive-feely" one. She's more intuitive...and fiercely independent. Sure, she can throw on the drama, and can even add a splash of tears to thicken it all,
but this morning was different. I've been her mama long enough to know...
these tears came out of nowhere and fell fresh and real.
What struck me the most was how she reacted to it. I've been eyeing her closely these days. It seems she's changing right in front of my eyes. Others have noticed too...but usually these changes aren't as recognizable for us as parents who live day in and day out where gradual change is subtle and overlapping. Over the past month I've made mental note...as different as she sometimes seems from me, I catch glimpses here and there that she is indeed very much my daughter. So, this morning, as these tears spilled and stained my pajama bottoms from where she clung and embraced, she emerged onto the couch with pencil and notebook in hand and began to write. An unlearned tendency. She begged to take her notebook in daddy's car with her on the way to school so she could finish.
I understand this little girl. The need to write, to sort, to exhale tangled thoughts and feelings into letters, words and phrases that somehow magically untangle themselves in the process. A connection we share. This is precious to me...for not all can understand this type of "wiring."
From my phone, I grabbed a quick photo of her in the moment.
And before she took notebook away, I snapped a quick photo of her work.
To me, it's like a photo of her heart.
I reminded her that I would be in her classroom volunteering tomorrow...this padded the morning with a little comfort.
("I will miss you so much. Even if I still miss you (you) will be in my classroom tomorrow." she writes.)

I find notes everywhere that Brooke has written...
This morning, I walked around the house and took some photos of a few I randomly found
on her bedroom wall...



In a kitchen junk drawer...
In a pile of crafting supplies where cousins have played...
On the bathroom counter...
And even by her bedside...
All written with 6 year old innocence,
but a reflection of the beautiful heart God is molding...the life He is shaping.
I catch glimpses of her grown up. They both frighten and delight.
She feels. She writes.
This makes sense to her. It makes sense to me.
When happy, or mad ("made") or sad...she naturally goes to pencil and paper.
Much like her mama, God has woven her with the "write" to feel.
Thankful when He provides these glimpses that better allow me as a mom, to draw upon my children's tendencies of heart...to steer, nurture, direct and channel them to be all He's created and intended them to be. To appreciate the unique traits that make each one of them different, special, precious in His sight (and mine). With Brooke, I'm just glad I'm her mom and that there is a small corner of her world I will always understand. Today didn't usher in any "wow" moments, but it offered a few stolen moments that twinkled a bit with peace and flashed a comfortable grin upon my heart. Enough to keep me going on this Monday.

2 comments:

  1. I love Brookie! What a wonderful trait of her mama's to share. Love it!

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  2. Being one that loves to write, I so enjoyed this beautiful description of a day in the life of a young writer. God has placed words on her heart and a desire to share them. She is very likely to bless those she touches just like her mommy does.

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