Tuesday, April 3, 2012

too heavy

today is not going as well as i had hoped. brayden just seems to be declining. we have insurance issues hanging in the balance, and the stupid internet at this hospital is not working. i can hardly utter a word right now for my heart is just too heavy. all i can say is it's just too heavy Lord...too heavy. oh it's too heavy. it's just too heavy. please lift this load from me because it just feels crushing and i can hardly breathe or stand the weight of it. i am completely heartsick. an ache i've never felt before. one that penetrates to the innermost core of my very being. a literal physical pain piercing straight to the heart, like a dagger, knocking the wind from my fragile lungs. be the air I breathe Lord. and the sobs are coming. with uncontrollable force. it was just a matter of time before the gates were let loose here. i'm trying to sing. but i can't. catch. my. breath. to make a sound. too heavy.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry this is happening. I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you. Just know you have so many people praying for you and Brayden out there.