Saturday, June 16, 2012

finding our way

Date night. 
We found ourselves quite somber.  
Not really in the mood to go out, but the details had already been arranged. And date night is rare, so we needed to jump on this opportunity. Not to mention we have been longing and needing to spend some time together. 
Two broken people, for reasons the same and different, 
trying to find our way.

There was comfort in the quietness of our ride to the restaurant.
And conversation began to spill easily from our hearts.
Both of us dealing.
Both of us vulnerable.
Both desiring change.
Aware of some life changes that may need to take place,
and trying to navigate our way there.

Dinner started out well as our waitress told us we were sitting at the table Justin Verlander was recently seated at.  The luck began to flow soon after as the waitress then carded me when Darcy ordered us wine.
He laughed at how giddy I was to show the waitress my ID.  But, in all truth, an almost 37 year old mom of three was thrilled to respond to this request.
 We got to talking over fried calamari and cabernet.  Talking openly and with painful honesty about our struggles.  Darcy had mentioned how he wanted to "live" and not just feel like he was "existing."  This sparked much conversation about what it means to really "live"...and what the purpose in our "existence" really is.  We know it's about bringing God glory. To be content in our circumstances. To find joy and thanksgiving in everything. To show and share love. To honor God with our choices, words and actions.  But how do we do this practically?  How do we live this out so that we aren't just existing, caught in the struggle,  but living a life of purpose and fulfillment?
 We began to relate this to our own little family of 5.  We both agreed that we want to give our kids a joyful childhood, equipping them with the necessary tools to successfully get through life.  To put these things into action as a blueprint for our children to follow...knowing that their lives will take on a struggle of their own in the years to come.  So how can we equip them to navigate through life and their own seasons of brokenness 
and to live a life of joy and purpose...
To fully understand that their worth is not wrapped up in their works or achievements,
but rather in who they are in Christ.
We need to be doing this ourselves.
 Perhaps we needed to come up with a new life plan,
working with what we've been given.
And right now, we might not have an abundance in resources, but we have time and we have love to share.
We talked about being intentional with the way we spend our time together as a family...
making it quality time that's worthy of purpose and meaning.  We brainstormed ideas and ways we could incorporate this into our lives...themed nights, service projects, ways of living beyond ourselves and our struggles.
Tuning out the noise of the outside world, protecting each other and promoting emotionally healthy boundaries, and focusing on being the individuals God has intended for us to be.  Through our brokenness we began to see clearly, finding our way to understanding.

And why not start now?
Ironically, two broken people ended their date night with a trip to the hospital,
to visit someone else who is broken and hurting
(though for other reasons).
Hand in hand we stepped into that hospital entrance fighting the uncomfortable tightening of chest that floods back recent memories of our own.  The smell that hung in the air as we walked down those corridors was all too familiar.  But with fragile spirits, we walked on, feeling more and more sense of purpose and existence with each step forward.  
And the smiles brought to that room, the hands held, the conversations shared, and the prayers offered in that moment overrode all other feelings we had wished to dismiss.

As we left, although still feeling a bit broken,
I couldn't have felt more complete next to anyone else in this world.

And what's dinner without a little dessert?
Rich and decadent sweetness was tasted and savored in a few stolen moments of tucking the kids into bed.

Together,
we're finding our way.

2 comments:

  1. Change can be good. I want a date night.

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  2. You and Darc are awesome! SO Blessed! I really wanna hug you right now and take away your pain. I adore you my friend! ADORE!

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