Wednesday, May 8, 2013

To Break the Silence

I look at today's date and the massive gap of time between my last post and this one and wonder if there's anyone out there still following my blog...and if you are, thank you for being loyal.  Has it really been over two full months?  Since I started this blog in 2008 I don't think there has ever been such a lapse of time in writing.  For those loyal followers out there, you know that for the past 2 years my posts have been consistently focused on the sharing of my faith journey.  While facebook has been a great avenue to share photos and life events, this little blog has become my outlet to share my heart and the work God is doing within it.  Today I break the silence.

With that said, over the years I've found the most satisfaction in writing when I am Spirit-led.  And even though I love to write and could muster up posts just to satisfy that love of breathing out words,  I tend to hold onto those things and use this space to share the moments God has placed something on my heart worthy enough to share.  And in those moments I do write, it usually feels like it's a nudge from the LORD pressing me onward to do so.  I've learned to ask Him which things He wants me to share publicly and which things to hold a little closer.  When it's a lesson or telling of His promises, He usually gives me the green, and says, "By all means, share Me!" The purpose for this blog is not for me, but for Him and His glory.  So, He directs.  Other times when what I am sharing is a little more concerning to myself personally, He says, "Let's  just keep it here for now."  Either way, I take no credit if anything "good" ever comes out of this tiny corner of blogging space in our gigantic cyber-world.   All glory to Him.

And while I am at it, I am curious to hear from other writers...How does God work in your heart in guiding you with your writing?  Most people who know me know that writing is a passion of mine.   But when I am not led by His Spirit to write, it's less rewarding, and lacks that appeal and passion.  Passion that springs from Him when His Spirit is awakened in me.  And when it is, it feels more like a compulsion.  A holy consumption.  Sometimes I am rendered useless until word hits page.  Restless.  Distracted until those consonants and vowels form words and sentences and thought and heart change.  They are mini-mountaintop moments where I catch a glimpse of His heart and His glory up close and personal.  So I crave it.  Use me LORD.  As You will.  Make me Your vessel. This is one way He has chosen to do so. I do hope He continues.

But He rarely just shows up and flows through me as I sit before my laptop and blank screen.  Does He do that for you?  He most often comes in snippets of thought.  Bursts of idea.  And often at the most inconvenient of times, like when I am blowdrying my hair or driving in the car.  I might be applying make-up, and He presses words on my heart, just as the mascara hits my lashes.  So I pause, grab something, anything to jot it down, and return to my makeup.  30 seconds later, He interrupts again.  So I jot, and, and, and scrub, and drive.  My house is filled with scribbled notebooks and papers filled with this stuff.  I'm often frantically searching for paper and pen, or my phone, to immediately begin scribbling because I know I will not remember later, even if I try.    Sometimes I'm lying in bed ready to shut my brain off and He says, "Ah, ah, ah...not yet! Don't forget this part."  So i groggily crawl out of my warm, cozy bed and begin to jot.  My "notes" app on my iPhone is filled with more of these one-finger-typed scribbles.  These little God spurts and interruptions.  While they make events and tasks take much longer than required, they are welcomed.  I don't want to miss anything He has for me.  These divine interruptions I've grown to love.  Sometimes they come in spurts throughout a day, or a couple of days.  Sometimes topics marinate in my mind a bit longer.  But there's usually a "building up." All in spurts.  It isn't till later when I sit before my keyboard do the words begin to come out differently and find their rhythm.  He begins to untangle, put them in order, make sense of them with His threading and weaving.  This seems to be my method.  Does He do that with you too?  Or does He just make it easier on you and show up in one long sitting?  I really am curious to know.

So, back to my story.  As you can assume, for over 2 months He's been silent.  No nudging.  No pressing. No scribbles. No spurts.  No interruptions.

Though, please don't equate that silence to distance.  I've felt God's presence near and dear to me in many ways.  He's gently spoken to me and has guided me in this timeframe, yet He just hadn't laid anything on my heart to share.  After the first month I began to wonder why.  The months prior I couldn't seem to get thoughts on page fast enough.  I often had several blog posts simultaneously brewing in my heart and my mind.  I'd begin one before finishing the other.  More spurts and jots mingling to find their way.  Like floodgates bursting open rushing to find their own space to settle.  It wasn't until later that I would discover the purpose for His silence.  In the meantime, God has been doing some mighty Wonder-working over these past two months...much of what I will get to later on in this post if you stick with me.  

So back to the silence.  I began to wonder why God is silent with us at times.  I used to think it was punishment, or sin on my behalf that was blocking and clogging my ability to hear Him.  While that is true in some cases, there are other reasons I have recently discovered.  I've realized that sometimes God is very intentional with His silence.  Sometimes He chooses to remain silent so that we'll still and quiet our hearts before Him.  He often desires this stillness of heart right before He is going to reveal Himself big in our lives.  It's as if He is saying, "I really, really want to have your attention here.  So quiet all the noise around you and make sure you are listening intently to Me.  I want your undivided attention, because I am going to do something BIG.  I need ALL of you for this one.  I need you to have a craving for Me, so that you don't miss anything I am about to reveal.  I want you hungry, ravenous, focused...ear and heart in tune to hear My voice above all the noise and commotion around you. I want you ready."  His silence might very well mean He is getting you ready for something more.  So, if you find yourself in a moment or season of this, prepare your heart for what's to come.  And be ready to dig deeper to find Him and His awaited treasure.  He may be just around the corner of today looking for the proper time to break the silence.

Carrying on.  Goodness, I glance above and look at the length of this post already, and yet I haven't even gotten to the meat of it!  I better cut this short before I lose you!  Needless to say, God has been up to something BIG within the heart of our family.  We are on day 31 of a 40 Day Family Challenge that has been rocking our world and surprising us at every turn.  I can't wait to share it with you!  If you are curious for more, stay tuned.  I feel we need to finish off the last 9 days of our challenge first.

In the meantime, be bold and pray this verse over yourself, your family, and your circumstances.  With great thanks.  It's the very crux of our family challenge.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.
Ephesians 3:20

And when you do pray...believe it to be true!  I'm experiencing pieces of this truth right now.  I promise it's available for anyone who believes.  And so does He!

1 comment:

  1. Gosh, I can't wait to hear all He has been up to in the Schreiber family...please share as soon as you can!! I am so eager to hear what the last forty days have produced in your family...and the details of what you did during these days.
    I love and am encouraged by the way you have surrendered your social media shadings to the leading of His Spirit. I have sensed a need for this more in my heart too. It has meant a 'quieter' me in the blog/fb world, but I believe there is purpose in this.
    Thank you for sharing your perspective on the seasons of quiet. How beautiful and oh so like God to lead us in this way. In stillness and expectancy. He always comes, in just the right time. Much of the wait is simply preparation, in us, in timing, in circumstances.
    Love you so! I'll be watching for your next post!